Big Ponderous Survey


Full Name: Shloma Menachem Mendel ben Avram v'Margalit Ha'Kohain Rosenberg (Hebrew name); Afolabi Awoyoyomi (Yoruba name); Cyclone (Witch name) Clayton D. Keck, Jr. (Driver's license name)

Education: 8th grade

Major: n/a

Minor: n/a

Nicknames: My family calls me "Bo" (don't ask, another Southern thing); Martin calls me "Woo" or "Doo" cause I call him "Pooh." My hubby calls me "Babe"

Birth date: 8/15/1968

Zodiac sign: Leo

Hair color: Right this instant it's maraschino cherry red

Eye color: Dark blue

Height: 6í6"

Personality type: Kind, concerned, decent, irreverent, nutty, random

Romantic: 24/7

Best Friends: My dad, Sean, Morgan, Kevin, Rowe, Brandon, Zazu, George

Kids: 2

Pets and their names: Cairn terrier (Libby)

Things you like to do: Live, love, know

Things you like to collect: Books, books, books, and books ... Oh and movies

Best advice you have ever given: Kneel before Zod!

Words or phrases you overuse: How odd. Fuck you. Nu? Kiss my ass. You dumb motherfucker. Oy vey. Mazel Tov.

Coolest experiences in life: Finding out that two friends in particular are true ones.

Stupidest thing you have ever done: Cocaine

Fav thing to do during the summer: my hubby

Fav thing to do during the autumn: my hubby

Fav thing to do during winter: my hubby

Fav thing to do during spring: my hubby

Special skills or talent: Double jointed all over, no gag reflex (put THOSE two toogether! lol) nearly photographic memory, world's fastest hair braider, artist (drawing, sculpture, beadwork), knowing the lyrics to just about every song Iíve ever heard.

Character traits you look for in a girl/guy: Sweet, kind, affectionate, insatiable

Future Goals: Revolution

Fav music: #1 is the amazing Frances Faye! Fag music (Judy, Barbra, Cyndi, Bette, Janis, Ella, Marlene, Billie, Dinah, Cleo), Folk music (Odetta, Pete Seeger & the Weavers, folky Dylan, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell), Yma Sumac, Nina Hagen, Norah Jones, Madeleine Peyroux, Siouxsie, Kimya Dawson

Fav color: Pink and Black

Fav food: Indian, Jewish

Fav Snacks: Chopped liver on rye

Funniest person you know: Adrienne Young, Martin Tsang, Diana Ulintz, and my late best friend Grace

Fav sport: My favourite sport happens in the locker room after the game

Fav toy: My big giant Legolas doll

Fav cartoon character: Moral Orel

Fav Actor / Actress: Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep, Cate Blanchett, S. Epatha Merkerson, Jerry Orbach, Conchata Ferrell, Piper Laurie

Celebrity crush: Anderson Cooper all day every day

Fav movies: Wizard of Oz, Lord of the Rings, Auntie Mame, A Rumor of Angels, just about any documentary

Fav animal: Giraffes; hedgehogs

Fav TV show: Law and Order (the original only, not all its unholy spawn), Wonder Woman, Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, Mighty Boosh, Catherine Tate

Fav month: May or October, I can't decide

Fav holiday: Chanukah

Least Fav holiday: anything honouring that poor dead Jew with the thorns on his head

Fav part of the newspaper: Gossip column

Fav Store: Best Buy, Munro Crafts, Fancy Beads, Botanica Yemaya y Chango, Borders

Fav clothes to wear: I am a shoe whore

The thing you despise the most: Ego driven pyramid scams disguised as religion (this goes out to YOU, $anteria)

Turn offs: drunks

Turn ons: uninhibited men, soft lips, dimples, guys who "take charge" (only in context), dyke daddies who like to top Queer boys

Thing I live by: be careful with one another; we are, every one of us, very fragile; Each according to his ability, each according to his need.

Croutons or Bacon Bits: neither (ugh, G-d forbid)

Favorite Salad Dressing: Oil and vinegar

Do you drink: no

Shampoo or conditioner: shampoo

Have you ever gone skinny dipping: well, Iíve been swimming naked, but being myself zaftig, I can't really call it "skinny" dipping

One pillow or two: 2

Dream Car: the one I have now is fine

Type of Car you drive now: 2006 Lincoln Town Car (my pimpmobile)

Toothpaste: Plus White

Online Crush: I DAREN'T say

Current beau/girl wife/husband: Yes I have one

Piercing or Tattoo: LOADS

Most romantic thing that ever happened to you: A trail of rose petals leading to my rose petal-covered bed where two champagne flutes and a REALLY expensive bottle of Moet waited ... And all this to celebrate a three month anniversary

Coolest thing that someone ever gave you: My troll Bleeker

Do you get along with your parents: They are my idols (mum has passed but I feel her everywhere)

Favorite town to chill in: Ann Arbor, New York, London

Favorite ice cream: Cookie dough in the US or Apple from Harrod's in London

Favorite drink: Peach/White grape juice

What's your bed time: Probably around 2 AM

Adidas, Nike, or Reebok: Birkenstock

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: Fendi Palazzo (men's cologne smells like B.O.; my man is only allowed to smell like Ivory soap or Lever 2000)

Favorite Novels: Carrie, Catch-22, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

Favorite Magazine: I don't really read magazines

Favorite High School subject: none

Least favorite subject: all

Favorite alcoholic beverage: I don't really drink, but enjoy champagne once in a while (like four times in my life), and I usually force myself to drink wine at Passover; but often I cop out and do grape juice

Favorite sport to watch: Men's figure skating especially If the guy is wearing white pants

Favorite sport to play: yeah right

Most humiliating moment: My drug addiction

Favorite relatives: Mum and Dad

How is 2009 looking so far? Challenging but rewarding

What do you think of Ouija boards? I think they're made by Parker Brothers

What's on your mouse pad? Does anyone use mouse pads anymore?

In the car, A/C or open windows? A/C

Do you believe in yourself: let's not get existential

Favorite game: I don't really like games (does that make me an asshole?)

Favorite fruit: Fuji apples and zipper skin navel oranges

Worst feeling in the world: Seeing the sun come up after a night of insomnia

Best feeling in the world:  Being in my honey's arms and feeling his razor stubble on my face

Favorite weekend thing: I don't really compartmentalize my week

Favorite soundtrack: Gypsy (the Merman one)

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In the throes of revolution

What's the 1st thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Oh Christ where is my blood sugar tester?

You get motion sickness: no.

Roller coasters: deadly or exciting? Deadly

How many rings before you answer the phone? However many it takes to find the phone

Future son's name: I have a son

Future daughter's name: I have a daughter

Are you a good friend? Yes

Chocolate or vanilla? Strawberry

If you could meet one person, living or dead, who would you like to meet? Ethel Rosenberg

Do you eat broccoli stems? Yes

Guys: if a girl asked you for the shirt off your back, would you give it to her? Why can't she get her own fucking shirt?

Girls: would you ask a guy for his shirt? OK I got something ta say ... I ain't a girl but there's some guys I'd like to see without their shirts and I'm not above using deceit to achieve that goal

If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? I'd like to teach children History thereby fomenting revolution

If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be? I already dye it pink, which would be my choice

Have you ever been in love before? Excruciatingly so

What's on the walls of your bedroom? Paint and a few pictures

Is the glass half empty or half full? It's brimming over

Pick a song that describes you or you can relate to: "Do Nothing 'til You Hear From Me"

Coke or Pepsi? Juice

If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? Poison or maybe decapitation or a gun if I had a silencer (I really haven't given this as much thought as it seems)

Are you a righty, a lefty or ambidextrous? Ambidextrous (no kidding); I mainly write with my left hand and do everything else with my right, but can do anything with either

Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? Is there another way?

When you meet a person of the opposite/same sex, you first notice their: Eyes/smile, dimples if they are present

Have you ever saved your chat conversation? Yes

If you could do anything to the person you hated most, what would it be? Erase them from the akashic record

What's under your bed? I think there's a Popsicle stick. I can't reach it, but I think that's what it is. And there's probably an AA battery 'cause isn't there always an AA battery somewhere?

What's your favorite number? 14

Say something nice about the person who sent this to you: I stole it off the net, so I guess *I* sent it to me, and I am fucking awesome; but I guess I could say something about the guy I stole it from he's really cool and unique